A Good Life

I think this post's too awkward and ironic. Just right now, i stopped crying. Don't bother asking because I won't tell it anyway. From this, I came with an idea. Why bother reform every now and then if the same problem strikes me. Well, it's not really the same since I think this time I got what's wrong and with this new idea, it will not be faced again. So here we go.

1) I am here not for myself but for others.
2) Positive realism will now take place, gone are the days of realism alone.
3) Principles and convictions are based on morality and goodness.
4) In line with number 3, I will not longer speak bad words or make fun of things.
5) God will be our first and last resort.
6) AJ Perez is still the model for the way of living.
7) Focus will be placed again.
8) I will be more friendly.
9) I will forget everything that has happened.
10) Smiling, hoping, dreaming and praying are the answers to life's problems.
11) I will only tell everything that bothers me to the people whom i trust.
12) Thou shall never use the words FAIL and BYE.
13) I will always make sure that I will see the intrinsic goodness instead of the bad ones.

So those are the new rules :)

And the new life starts now :)

Party Life

So I'm writing this post an hour away from my 19th birthday.

I think it's not a secret that I've been through a hard time these past few months but I know I made peace with myself.

From everything that has transpired, I've learned many things, such as:
1) People don't change, we just evolve and discover who we really are.
2) We can't see God but He's real.
3) Life is short, it may be taken away from us anytime so make the most out of it.
4) Love can't be forced.
5) Give out and give in.

I'd like to say I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt for the past 19 years and say thank you to everyone who made it a life worth living.

So here we go..

To the Almighty God that has created me, thank you for everything. You've been there with me through every step of the way, the good and the bad times. I think this simple statement isn't enough how grateful I am for the blessings You've showered me.

To my family, thank you for being there though we had a lot of fights. Yes, I think I made peace with myself, including with you.

To my teachers since pre-school up to college, thank you for being so understanding with my short- comings. I know that I'm the kid who's not really a fast learner. Also, I'm super stubborn and too darn lazy so thank you for understanding.

To my MKA32 classmates, thank you for being my driving force to continue this course. Without you guys, I think I already transferred to another school and shifted to another course.

To AJ Perez, thanks sir for your tweets. I know you can't physically read this but I think you can read it from up there. Thanks for..you know what it is. Thanks for those 2 great helps! I  owe you 2! You're still my idol and I hope I'll see you soon! I miss you #nowplaying tweets!

To Serlyn, thanks for being my friend for 3 years. Uy, 3 years oh! hahaha Anyways, thanks for listening to the pointless and dumb things I've been telling you since first year.

To JC, sir, thanks for the game tickets, ride going home, music, jokes, ojt but more than that, thanks for listening to every problem, whether family or love, and my deepest and darkest secrets. Thanks for not telling those to others. 'Wag mo sabihin yun sa iba, deepest and darkest yung alam mo, seriously. Thanks too for those advice that you gave me. 'Yaan mo, gagawin ko na yung text. Tama ka, I got nothing to lose hahaha So yun, andami ng part mo haha Tara SG ulit tapos jaywalk! haha

To MYX Philippines, especially to VJ Chino and Bianca, thanks for being there 24/7, not only for me, during those sleepy exam review moments. You guys are very funny. Avid Wer U At watcher here!

To Cher, I think this might sound weird but thanks for replying to my tweets. And oh, your tweets make me smile and learn too! :)


So that's it, I thanked everyone I want to thank before my 19th birthday. Let's cheer to this one!

3 Days

Impossible.

Yeah.

Yes, I'm on a mission and it's impossible yet I can't stop. I dunno how to stop myself. I fell. I deeply fell.

I really dunno how to start this post. Everything's pretty mixed up on my clouded mind.

Well, just bear with me or leave.

This thought of mine has been on my mind for 3 days now. It started as a small "what if." "How can I continue with this?" I asked myself while on mass. Still no answer.

Yesterday we went out to a mall and transferred to the nearby too. That move made me sort of wake up, as I was too sleepy. I didn't get to see someone there. Apparently, she was on the side of the cinema while we were on the main atrium. What's annoying is that we went to the same fastfood drive- thru.

Earlier I asked myself on if ever I saw her with her family, how am I gonna react. I had some hypothetical answer but man, it was freakin' bad! Torpeng torpe dating!

Oh well, build friendship first. First bridge to kill those high walls down.

I think if we'll be together, this will be a classic Pinoy Tale.

Smile, Forever Young =)

Antonello Joseph Sarte Perez.

February 17, 1993- April 17, 2011.

18 years, 2 months, 0 weeks, 0 days, 0 hours, 10 minutes of a short yet well- lived life.

Rest in Peace.

Amen.

The warmth of your smile will be forever cherished, your gentleness will always be remembered. An angel sent from above, our source of light, hope, and strength. - AJ's epitaph

So I'm writing this post while here in Manila Memorial Park. My father and I went to his tomb at around 8:30am. Well, Steph's direction was quite right. "After the bridge, turn left then look for Tamarind Lane and ask the guards for direction," she tweeted me. Yeah but it was farther. It's near the Elizalde Gate but it's no biggie. Back April 26, during his interment, I promised him and myself that I would visit him on November 1. I kept my promise. We got lost upon reaching him. When I saw his tomb, everything came back from that faithful Palm Sunday. I was online when he tweeted his last tweet. I went offline 10 minutes before the news broke on his kingdom, Twitter. Yeah, just like a plain kingdom from a far away land set long, long time ago, the news first broke on the social network he really loved to use. It's still surreal. It was surreal.

In order to keep the sadness away, we have to move on. Moving on is not done overnight. I, myself, is not personally known by AJ but there's what we call "a person who has touched many lives until the end." From his simple thoughts up to being proud of graduating from LSGH has been cherished not only by his family and friends but also his fans. From that point, we can keep his happy memories and leave the bitter ones behind. Cherish his the warmth of his smiles, the gentleness of his voice and sincereness in every word.

Yes, I'm an avid fan. He is my idol. I try to pattern everything from him. My iPod is a silent witness to that. All the songs that he tweeted as "#nowplaying" is still on my iPod. From that, the "17" playlist was born with Fall Out Boy's Sugar We're Falling Down as the first song to be played, always.

This man is truly missed. He will be forever young. He will be forever loved, remembered and missed. AJ, see you soon!

I think this will prolly by the last post about his passing. If there will be a post about him, it will be a happy one. Long live Antonello!Live AJ in our hearts, Forever! ANIMO AJ!